How to stop your kids from bugging you to buy stuff

Shopping habits that work on both adults and kids

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Americans spend about $5,400 each year on impulse buys. That’s three purchases a week adding up to $450 each month on unplanned, unbudgeted purchases. Why do people impulse buy? Researchers do not agree. Here are three theories, and each has data to back it up:

1. Some people are more impulsive than others

2. People actively choose to buy extra things if money is available

3. Marketers get people to buy things with advertising tricks

(Which reason do you think affects you the most?)

I’m pretty sure that for my kids, the answer is “all these reasons” (and probably a few more). If you let it, shopping with your kids can be the worst thing. The store is a madhouse of opportunities for impulse buys, and oh boy do the kids have impulses. Not only are you trying to think about what to buy, but you have to fend off mob activity from the kids, who truly believe that you’re a heartless tyrant if you don’t buy this essential item, the existence of which they were completely unaware moments before.

Shopping with kids can be fun, believe it or not, if you have a good set of habits and expectations in place. Furthermore, the kids benefit from developing good shopping habits and learning to use money responsibly. They need to see you do things well, and they need to practice them with you. 

Here are a couple of habits for avoiding impulse buying that work for both adults and kids. 

First, make sure that you and the kids have eaten before you go shopping. If you’re full, everything doesn’t seem delicious and immediately necessary.

Next, think of your shopping list as a list of the only things that you’re going to buy. You can involve your kids in this. Right before you enter the store, ask the kids to guess some things that are on the shopping list. Let them guess some things, then tell them what they missed. Next, ask them what we’re not here to buy. 

This might seem like a stern, grim activity, but you can be creative and have fun with this. Ask them “Are we going to buy a puppy at the store?” (“No!”) “A new car?” (“No!”) “What else?” (“Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs!” “Very small rocks!” “A duck!”) In short, anything else. Then tell them that you’ll need their help to find the things on the shopping list, and proceed into the store. Also, tell them that “You're going to see a lot of extra things that you might want. Are we going to get any of them? Nope.” 

The next step is holding to this practice yourself, even if there are no kids with you. If you didn’t think of buying an item before you walked into the store, don’t buy it. But you can keep your hard-earned dollars by thinking ahead of what you need, and getting only that stuff.

Kids will forget 80% of what they ask for if you just leave it alone for a while. You can tell them “If you didn’t need it outside the store, you don’t need it inside the store.” But it’s even more powerful if you hold to this yourself.

What if you actually need that thing, though? Easy: just plan to get it next time. Don’t write it down, though. You’ll likely forget you wanted it, and that’s just the point. This especially applies to your Amazon list. When you are searching Amazon, it seems convenient to save items to buy later. Eventually, you do buy them.

Do this instead: don’t save the item to your list. If you keep finding yourself needing it for several weeks, consider buying it (from spending money that you’ve budgeted, of course). But if you forget about it, or can’t find it again, you’ll probably be ok. 

So when do you actually get stuff from the store for the kids? Well, you need a system for that, and this post is long enough already. But keep following Paper Robots, because I’ll be sending ideas throughout the year on how to structure the parameters for kids’ buying choices.

If you only buy things from your list, your kids will initially still bug you for random things. But they will stop doing that when they find out that the door is shut; that there’s no way you’re buying things if you hadn’t planned to do it. They will also start to understand and develop a valuable personal finance habit that they can use for the rest of their lives.

So don’t be afraid: go ahead and take the kids–or yourself–to the store!